“Today I was eating a HOT Krispy Kream doughnut and after I got done eating the doughnut I looked down and half of the napkin was gone too…. I have never felt so betrayed by a doughnut in my life.”—I have never felt so betrayed by a doughnut in my life.
“Today a homeless man was asking me for money and while we were talking this motherfucka accidentally spit on my lip….I wanted to burn my lips off and just start over.”—all this over 50 cents…. a valuable lesson was learned today
“Speaking of Freddy Kruger… When I was 8 years old I watched Nightmare on Elm Street for the 1st time…. the next day I fell asleep in church and I accidentally had a fuckin nightmare and I woke up screaming in the middle of the sermon…. they thought I had a demon in me… & they made me get baptized again.”—